A Modest Proposal concerning our gas crisis

A Modest Proposal concerning our gas crisis

As the price of gas climes to record levels most American stand by as victims with no recourse. The average citizen has no power over international politics. The average citizen cannot introduce a technology that could improve the situation. Even if the average citizen could make a change (such as driving a fuel efficient vehicle or using alternate forms of transportation) the little change would still do nothing to change the problem as a whole. Clearly an entire way of life must change.

The root of the problem is that there are too many people driving too many cars. In order to prevent there from being more drivers in the future, and thus lowering the demand for fuel I suggest a Modest Proposal. We should begin using the bodies of the young to power our cars. A young healthy child well nursed, is, at a year old is a most powerful source of fuel whether turned to E80 ethanol or bio diesel. By using the young as fuel we can solve our oil problem in two ways. We will use less fuel taking the kids to and from school, and we can also save by lowering the number of future drivers. At the rate the world is going the children will suffer in a dirty polluted world so we really are doing them a great service.

Now I know the detractors will say this is not ethically correct. We have been choosing our cars over our own health, our children's health, and our environment for years. Sacrificing one generation could put an end to all of this. According to The Foundation for a Better Earth if we can just tough it out and sacrifice one generation of young children then we will no longer be dependent on petroleum as a main energy source.

Come on everyone sacrifice your child for gas. You can always have another kid, but you shouldn't be expected to walk to work !

Of course this is satire based on Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal but it is not far from the truth.